How to Fly the B-29: A One Act Play
by Moonbeam141
Summary: The theater version of when Ida Mae and Lily fly the B-29. Sit back, relax, and enjoy, ladies and gentlemen! Rated T for WWll stuff.


**A/N: I know this is in script format. There isn't any need to tell me by reviewing. I'm only going to keep this up for a short time, so enjoy!**

How To Fly the B-29: A One-Act Play

_Scene: IDA MAE and LILY are strapped in the cockpit of the B-29. They are talking and getting comfortable with the controls. CAPTAIN HANK, and LIEUTENANTS DAVIS and SPARKS are offstage, in the nose of the plane._

LILY: This is fine.

IDA MAE: Oh, yes, it is.

_A few moments later, after IDA MAE has gone over the events of the morning:_

LDA MAE: I just had an idea, Lily.

LILY: What's that? Fly us all to Acapulco for supper?

IDA MAE: No. I mean, it seems to me the colonel is using us as an example. You and I both know that the army can keep a secret when it wants to.

LILY: ***agreeing*** That's for sure.

IDA MAE: Well, then, why do you suppose there just happen to be sixty soldiers with nothing better to do than watch us this morning?

LILY: ***frowns, then** **smiles*** Because they want to see what a girl can do.

IDA MAE: ***nods*** With the 'Widowmaker'.

LILY: Oh, boy. This should be a hoot.

(CAPTAIN) HANK: ***sticks head** **into cockpit*** What are you ladies talking about up there?

IDA MAE & LILY: ***put on** **innocent faces***

LILY: Just the weather, sir. Now, go buckle in; we're about to take off.

_HANK leaves, and shortly later, the sound of four engines, one after another, is heard in the background._

IDA MAE: Ready, Lily?

LILY: ***nods*** Ready, steady.

_IDA MAE starts to struggle with lifting the B-29._

LILY: ***worried*** Ida?

IDA MAE: Got it, got it.

_The sound of a plane taking off is heard in the background._

LILY & SPARKY: ***cheers** *

LILY: ***pointing out the window*** Would you look at that?

IDA MAE: I bet their mouths are hanging wide open.

LILY: I certainly hope so.

SPARKY: Smooth flying, ladies.

LILY: Thank you, Lieutenant Sparks.

IDA MAE: And now, for the tricky part.

LILY: Landing gear, ready.

IDA MAE: Here we go.

_Suddenly, the plane lurches and the steady drone of the engines stop. When they start again, it's too quiet._

IDA MAE: We've lost an engine.

_From the compartment behind the two girls (offstage), someone shouts and someone else swears._

IDA MAE: *slightly higher voice* Status, boys?

HANK: Davis is hurt. Got his hand smashed climbing through to the gunnery. What happened?

IDA MAE: What the B-29's probably famous for. One of the engines stalled. We're running on three now.

LILY: Number four's on fire.

IDA MAE: ***muttering*** That's just peachy.

HANK: ***appears between LILY and IDA MAE.*** I think it's time I take over.

IDA MAE: No. No sir. We've trained on stalled planes before. I know how to handle it.

HANK: Well, you may have noticed that the B-29 isn't just any old plane. I'm surprised your arms didn't give out just getting us into the air. I'll be hanged if I'm going to get caught in a crack-up just because some dame wants to prove a point.

LILY: It's not our point, sir, it's Colonel Griffith's. ***picks up radio*** B-29 to tower. Can I have Colonel Griffith, please?

IDA MAE: Captain Hank, please strap yourself in. We don't want any more injuries, do we?

HANK: ***looks at IDA MAE and LILY, in that order, shakes head, crosses himself, and returns to his seat.***

LILY: What should I tell the colonel?

IDA MAE: ***shrugs*** Tell him the truth.

LILY: ***worriedly*** What is the truth, Ida? I've seen you land a pursuit plane in a stall before, but this? We're burning. Don't be stubborn, Jonesy. Be safe.

IDA MAE: Right. ***doesn't say anything for a while*** I can do this. We can do this.

RADIO: ***crackles*** Griffith here.

LILY: Colonel Griffith, this is Lily Lowenstein. We have a slight problem up here. Engine three's stalled out and number four's on fire. It's procedure to have emergency services waiting on the ground. If you want them. This is your show, Colonel. We'll do our job. We're coming in on the next circuit. Lowenstein out.

IDA MAE: It'd be nice to have those fire trucks out there. Just for comfort's sake.

LILY: You said you could do this, Ida.

IDA MAE: ***nods*** I can, I can. Still. . . ***shakes head*** Aw, hell. Say a prayer, rabbi. We're coming in.

_The plane drops from the sky and another engine fails._

LILY: That was number one. But you're clear. No smoke.

IDA MAE: ***through clenched teeth*** Lily, I need your help.

LILY: ***reaches over to help IDA MAE***

_The plane is landing, but too fast and heavy, and is top heavy and off balance. _

IDA MAE: ***grabs LILY by the arm*** Hold it, hold it!

_The plane stops safely._

IDA MAE: ***to LILY*** Look.

_A single fire truck, lights off and out of sight of the men watching, trundles down to the B-29 from the end of the tarmac._

IDA MAE and LILY: ***start to laugh. HANK and the other boys come quickly***

SPARKY: They're hysterical, sir.

HANK: ***shakes head and follows IDA MAE and LILY out of the plane*** Dames are crazy, Sparky. Don't you ever forget it.

SPARKY: ***seriously*** No, sir. I won't.


End file.
